Dating
and marriage is different than it was twenty years ago. In today's
society, more than 50% of all marriages fail for one reason
or another. Just thinking about that makes "commitment"
seem scary. It seems that when relationships are faced with
challenges, people quit trying. Dating is more like a marathon,
trying to date as many people as possible, instead of taking
time to get to know someone at a deeper level. For married couples,
divorce is not biased. Whether married for thirty years or eight
months, the outcome can be the same.
The
fact is that relationships, whether dating or married, are hard.
Things do not always go perfectly, fighting does occur, and
it takes a 100% commitment from both parties to make it a success.
Often when people break off a relationship, they feel as though
something is missing. The "spark" has gone, leaving
one or both people feeling inadequate and unfulfilled.
However,
even though the odds are not very good, healthy, and long-lasting
relationships are definitely possible and proven by many people.
Look at Paul Newman and Joanne Woodard, Danny Devito and Rhea
Perlman, or Nancy and Ronald Regan. What secrets do they possess?
The answer is that they all work hard at their relationship.
They made a decision of choosing to love their mate rather than
relying on the "warm and fuzzy" feelings, which everyone
knows will fade. By making love a choice you are making a decision
that even in the bad times, you stick it out.
Think
of it like choosing a car. You pick out the make, model, year,
color, and features that you believe are best for you. After
driving your car for a couple of months, you realize that perhaps
you should have purchased a larger car, or that maybe the leather
seats would have been better, or on hot sunny days, the sunroof
would have been nice. However, it is now too late so you choose
to keep your car and make it work. It is the same for marriage.
Not everything will be perfect and there will be major obstacles
to overcome but you have made your decision and now you choose
to make it work.
There
are hundreds of things you can do to better your relationship.
To help get you headed in the right direction, we have chosen
101 ways to build, strengthen, and enhance your relationship.
Remember,
little steps taken every day will add up to big successes.