Money Matters
Every
couple knows that money matters in a marriage. Learn how to cope
with money issues in a sane way and save yourself some major battles!
Money
Matters: Strengthen Your Marriage by Putting Finances in Order
By Cynthia Cooper, Ph.D.
Did
you know that 43% of all married couples argue over money issues,
making it the major reason couples fight? If you and your spouse
handle money differently, now is the time to talk, establish expectations,
and draw up a financial plan.
Money
is a very big part of a marriage. Having enough to spend, and to
do the things each wants to do, is important to both parties. When
couples are not able to do that, then other issues pop up in the
relationship. When husband and wife are not on the same page as
far as family finances go, other difficulties inevitably arise.
Effective
communication often emerges as the most difficult obstacle to establishing
goals and expectations, and developing a financial plan. Many of
us have been taught during childhood that discussing money is somehow
inappropriate. Couples must understand that it is not only appropriate
but absolutely necessary to managing finances in a marriage. Just
as finances must be planned in a business, they must also be planned
in a marriage. You must communicate in spite of any difficulty.
For
example, how do you get your spouse to understand that he or she
will need to curb their spending habits so that you both can begin
putting money away?
There
s got to be a viable agreement, because most couples discover that
a lack of money, a lack of spending control, or a lack of fall-back
savings eventually causes other problems in a marriage. Little things
grow into much bigger things. However, as emphasized by Daniel Smith
a noted financial expert cited in The Marriage Medics, future arguments
over finances can be avoided by simply communicating, creating an
understanding of expectations, setting objectives and agreeing on
a financial roadmap.
The
Marriage Medics outlines the following financial plan of attack
for couples of any age:
1.
Stop living beyond your means.
2.
Treat the household like a business.
3.
Create an income-and-expense statement.
4.
Create a balance sheet.
5.
Create a budget.
6.
Figure out how to pay down your debt. Agree on a plan
of action in which you both share equally in cutbacks.
7.
Find ways to cut expenses.
8.
Go on a debt diet starting with the little stuff.
9.
Have only one credit card for your entire family.
10.
Celebrate when you pay off a debt.
There
are many resources for help in creating family budgets and living
within them. For instance, Jim Miller, a Registered Investment Advisor,
author of Retire Dollar Smart, and the host of a financial advice
radio show is an excellent source. Visit his web site at: http://www.retiredollarsmart.com.
In sum, married couples have an important opportunity to plant the
seeds for a healthy marriage by simply talking with each other,
being realistic about expectations, and making that financial plan.
Money matters!
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Cynthia
Cooper, Ph.D., is a clinical psychotherapist and co-author of The
Marriage Medics which you can obtain via http://www.themarriagemedics.org
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